Good Morning... it has been roughly 34 days since my last post and whew.. I tell ya I am one grateful sister ! . And because of the mercies of God I was not utterly consumed. Today I wish to share from the area of LOVE. We are instructed to (love our neighbor as ourselves ) which I believe is totally possible; IF we love ourselves ! . Some love them themselves to death ; running toward and chasing after things and people who are not good for them ; never producing fruit that will nourish another.
While sadly others cannot seem to muster up the strength to love at all... because they grew up without or only recieving what others had in them to give. Our perception of love is often jaded .. which is understandable due to the fallen nature of man. Leaving us ever disappointed, disgusted and disenfranchised.
I have come to learn the hard way ... people can only love you with what is inside of them, their perception of what love looks like varies from your own because of prior relationships... If a man has no respect for his own mother... well you know what you are in for... If a woman did not know or had a bad relationship with her father.. Brother you are in for some rough times. I also learned to decide if I was willing to accept what they had to offer or if I could use my rights... to be pursued and embrace someone who would be willing to grow with me and not keep using excuses.. If it is you and not me .... are you even willing ? to work on YOU.. is the question I had to pose. And if not respectfully I will make this easier on all parties involved . I will remove myself from the equation. Far too many times I have been in divided relationships.. bringing me only a fraction of ... or worst subtracting from the circumference of who I was. I am an addition to every situation and refuse to settle for a percentage.
Let us look at a couple of definitions before we go any further.
Camoflauge : The process of disguising or changing the appearance of ; or to conceal something or yourself from the enemy.
Self : The identity , character or essential qualities of any person or thing.
Sabotage : Intentional obstruction of or damage to some productive process .
So what is being said here is ... As one follows a pattern or a continued stream of events to disguise, alter or conceal something from another about who they really are ... good, bad or indifferent.. they find themselves purposely tearing apart that which they really desire for others to come in agreement with.
Many will scoff and immediatley say.. No I love myself ! . yeah for some you love yourself so much it has turned into vanity.. we are speaking of the kind of love that extends itself beyond when we get our hair done, get a fresh cut, make a wise decision or just look put together from an outward standpoint. Many people profess that they do not care what others think of them... hmmm; if this is so then why do we spend so much time on appearance and trying to make good impressions. We have to be taught how to love ourselves.. not just to appease ourselves , but to be an example to others. Christians who serve He who is the epitome of love ... can be some of the meanest people... we often want things that ...we are not willing to give out ourselves. In part because... we view love moreso by what we get from others and not so much of how we are to give to others... This is a truthful and faithful saying... HOWEVER you love yourself will be the prototype for how you love others.. Many people try and defy truth by thinking things will be different if we just love people so much it will inevitably cause them to love you the same... this is not so God`s beloved.
Hear me out... I am in no way saying that we ought not take pride in ourselves.. that is an elementary concept. what I am saying is we tend to let what others think and allow them to consume us to the point of almost no return ; maybe not in every area but at least one.When you find yourself trying to look, speak or act in a manner that is pleasing to others you can also open yourself up to losing your identity.. now the two of you are rolling along and one can no longer keep up this charade. This is too exhausting.. coupled with your own insecurities; now you are overwhelmed with what others will think.. so what happens next ? you confess this is too much like work ... maybe God didn`t tell me to do this and I quit... SELF SABOTAGE. !
People who self sabotage can and will accomplish things, but it will usually take them longer.. kind of like the 11 day trip to the Promise Land that took 40 years... your heart has to be tested and your mind renewed . Many of us do not even know what is inside of us... until God allows a situation to bring out the true nature of man.
If we were honest we could think of at least one thing God has instructed us to do .. whether it was 10 minutes, 10 months or 10 years ago... How much closer are we to accomplishing that ? Is it fear of failure, fear of man which is a snare, fear of responsiblity, or fear of success ?. We like to hear God say He is going to use us to do a mighty work ; but when we begin to look at our own track record we become discouraged... truth be told if we could do it alone .. God is probably not orchestrating it.
Here are a few tips to help one realize if they are self sabotaging their lives. 1. You cannot except a compliment without giving a disclaimer.. ex..( Oh your hair looks great.. oh girl I so need a touch up.) ... (or hey bruh.. you been working out ? ... yeah but I sure have a long way to go.)
2. You start a project and do not alert anyone because they just may hold you accountable to complete it.
3. You tell God all of the reasons He should`nt use you , but then get upset when He uses someone else.
4.You can see greatness in everyone else but just can`t seem to your own cheerleader
5. And the one most witnessed of them all... God I have done way too much to tell anyone anything .. so I will just use my get out of hell free card, go to church, give an offering, sing a song or two, think about giving a tithe... but refuse ... because if I give you my last what will I have ? For you know I am used to providing for myself.
We can not effectivley love God, ourselves or anyone else until we first embrace the love of God that He has shed abroad in our hearts by the power of the Holy Spirit. If one does not deem themselves worthy of love from He who is love... how can they possibly extend it and let it run over into the hearts and lives of the world.
How many inventions, ministries, relationships, friendships and dreams have been annihilated, incarcerated and mutilated because you refused to believe that it was actually possible. The saddest thing is that we were saved to impact the world and are being selfish by sabotaging every good and perfect gift from above.
Before we can pour into another we have to realize that while we were sinners we were unworthy and undeserving... but know as saints we have benefits and if our mindsets would be transformed from... oh I am such a wretch to that of ... I am an Ambassador... maybe , just maybe we could move forward.
I do not want to spend another nano second talking or walking myself ... right out of the blessing that God has been preparing me to walk into for the edification of another soul.
Lord ..surely your sacrifice was more than enough ! everytime I tell you why I cannot do something You point me back to the cross ... where you did it all. So may we remember and never forget that in the beginning ... it was finished... He who began a good work in us will complete it ... And also that we can no longer put our hand to the plow and turn back.
SO PLEASE NO MORE; SHE CAN DO IT BETTER THAN ME ... HE PREACHES AND PRAYS BETTER THAN ME ... IF I HAD MORE MONEY... WHEN I LOSE THE WEIGHT... WHEN I GET MARRIED.. WHEN I GET BACK ON MY FEET.. WHEN HE TELLS ME I AM BEAUTIFUL... WHEN SHE COMES TO HER SENSES.....What will we do as disciples in the mean time or what happens if these things do not ever occur ?????
So today I pray that you would recognize those areas and if need be .. ask the Holy Spirit to reveal that which you may have been in denial of or just unaware of ... May you not spend anymore of God`s , your or anyone elses time in the CAMOFLAUGE OF SELF SABOTAGE. !
Hidden In Him
Pretina J. McNeil
