I am so excited today , there are times when I am beckoned to read the word of God and I become so consumed that I do not want to put it down. Today was one of those days. I began to examine myself and take inventory. Was I being a good steward of my time , talents and abilities or had I somehow convinced myself that I was owner of my life, how it panned out and what the finished product would be ?.
In order for me to evaluate my today , I had to first look at my past, what I loved doing, what made me the most happiest and how I would get myself out of a rut . I began to explore all of the occupations I desire growing up... whew that was a mini grocery list . I realized that I desired to be a teacher, lawyer, correction officer, pharmacist, dental technician, bartender , nurse, maid , waitress, run my own group home or half way house and the one who I knew for sure that would make me millions of dollars of course a rapper. And this was before I was 25 years old.
The underlying thread in all of these quests was the desire to help others who had fell on hard times ; due to poor decision making, lack of knowledge, disobedience or even because of another persons actions. a teacher because I loved learning , a lawyer well because I was pretty convincing and sadly must admit that I was an expert at arguing ,a dental tech so I could make gold teeth...lol.., a bartender to listen to other peoples problems and offer suggestions, a maid, waitress , group home assistant to serve and I`m from Brooklyn New York so that explains the rapper deal.
I soon found out that although these things had something in common it was because God put that desire there to serve people , not me. I loved rap because of the words and the stories they told not so much for the music. And sense I am being transparent there was a part of me that would love to have a crowd of people gathering just to hear the words that came out of my mouth. But God... He can take even the deceitful desires and purify them for His purpose. I believe that he is accomplishing in my life what he set forth before the foundations of the world.
One of the most often quoted scriptures next to John 3:16 has to be ( Luke 22:42) that states... saying Father, If it is your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will , but Yours be done.
The word will means to have a desire and to deliberately choose to follow a course of action... good, bad or indifferent.
Whitney Houston... I will always love you
Chris Tomlin ... I will Follow
Gloria Gaynor... I will survive
Songs that most know the words to but fewer actually live out.One chose to always love someone even if thins did not turn out as expected, another declared that the one they were following was trustworthy enough to lead them to dine destiny and the other proclaimed that I have made a choice to make it regardless of how my heart feels, what my circumstances dictate or how another person responds or rejects me.
I often think of people in scripture who were called outside of their comfort zones to speak to others whom they secretly decided that they were not good enough for God`s grace. Now I know our sanctified minds would say oh no everyone deserves the gift of forgiveness, but truth be told most of us do not evangelize, pray fervently or invest in others because we feel they have not arrived at a place to be accepted in. If we are truthful the only contribution we bring to the salvation plan of God is a load of sin and that constitutes everyone free access.
Yes I know that peoples eyes have been blinded by the enemy and so were mine, but somebody prayed for me and believed God even when my actions and speech were contrary. No everyone will not be saved and not due to God sending them to hell but because they chose to reject his sons sacrifice. In the end it is not my task to figure out what is in the heart of man for time and verbiage will reveal that. But my joy comes from knowing that God has selected me to be a part of his plan of reconciliation.
Jonah heard the instruction of God, not only ran from the people but tried to hide from God, now before we bring down the holy hammer on the prophet we too must look at ourselves, would we be readily willing to drop the familiarity of home, prosperity of our surroundings and set sail for a place where no one knows your name, you are not Mrs. popular, tell folks what God is saying without fear of rejection, ridicule or possible death ?
Either way he tried to go another route, I do not find it coincidental that there was a ship available to him to go on his merry own way... again we have been granted free will and he chose his own course. Great thing about God... His word stands even when we fall. With a bit of rerouting, God allows him to be thrown overboard , but not drowned... he was swallowed, but not eaten by a fish , came to his senses , cried out to God , repented and was catapulted right to the place where he was instructed at first.
Funny how we say we want to be used by God, but as soon as the script is not according to our design we want to bow out, try and convince God that someone else would be a better candidate or fail miserably at trying to run and hide from He who sees all.
What if God is saying your season for you being frustrated with church folks is over and now I want you to minister to the lost, what if he is saying.. the boss you try and ignore is your Nineveh, Your landlord is your Nineveh, your estranged drug addict family member, next door neighbor with the grip of kids, the lady who does your mani/ pedi or your beautician.... whoever or wherever our Nineveh may cost us our place of comfort today , but our rejection of the assignment can cost someone their salvation for eternity sake
Father first off we thank you for calling us out of darkness into your marvelous light, we thank you for the prayers of the righteous for their obedience, the intercession of Christ as our Mediator and the groans of the Holy Spirit which we can not fathom. For without your divine will and the participation of others we too would be doomed to eternal separation from You. Teach us and instruct us on who or where our Nineveh lays, how we can move forward and please prepare the hearts of those you are sending us to .
We fully understand that one act of obedience can save a nation of people. It is in your word.. and we have seen it in our own lives... now may we agree with you and tell the dying world of our Savior who lives.
Cast out all fear of rejection, for you are God enough to handle what we cannot. May we not be so concerned about how we will look or sound , but that we listen when you are speaking.
Thank you for the equipment, instruction manual and the same power that raised Jesus Christ from the dead that dwells within us. We thank you in advance for all who will come to love, know and follow you as Savior and Lord .
Hidden In Him
Pretina J. Lowery
Monday, February 13, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
The Diversity of a Disciple
As we go through life it is utterly impossible to not make a comparison. Whether you grew up liking Prince or Michael Jackson, Uncle Ben`s or Carolina rice, New York or Chicago style Pizza , Joy or Dawn dish washing liquid, ketchup by Heinz or Hunts, The Partridge Family or the Brady Bunch, the Giants or the Jets, The Yankees or the Mets... You compared just about everything to something or someone.
Today I was thinking about the twelve disciples of Jesus. Ordinary in physicality but extraordinary when yielded to the power of God. Upon reading the scripture we find that they too made comparisons among one another. You had here men from different walks of life, economic and educational backgrounds,and varied upbringings. Yet Christchose them because He knew what they were made of and how He would make even the most skilled fishermen... fish for and catch fish that were too susceptible to be eaten up by others.
Lord only knows the conversations they had , but the important thing was to realize that they were all called because of their individuality and not because they were cookie cutter followers. Some had tempers, others jockeyed for positions while yet one was a thief and betrayer, Truth be told we all could white out there names and put ours in their place. We all have been envious, prideful, quick to speak and slow to listen.
One of the things I love about this melting pot for ministry was that they heard the call, answered , dropped everything and followed Christ... did this mean that they were puppets and lost their identity ?, Certainly not... They believed in He who gave the invitation, but also learned through experience , object lessons, lack of faith and disobedience.
Everyone has a part to play in a band, on a team , in a play , at a place of employment as well as in the home. I think we stumble with comparing ourselves when we either do not know what our part is or if when reject it thinking that someone else has gotten a better contract so to peak. Our gifts are given to us by the Holy Spirit as He wills, we can never boast because we are not the creator , but were gifted to use the tool given.
The Jackson Five would not have been the J5 if Mike would have been a solo artist from the start. The other brothers because of their humanity, personality and upbringing could have felt dislike toward their family member only them and God knows how it was to live in their household.
Joseph understood full well what is was like to be chosen for a specific task. We can become covetous, indifferent and even mean to people for things they themselves had no control over. I am sure if you could ask Joseph if he knew that he would have to go through all he encountered he may tell you and God... I`m Good God , I will pass on this assignment ... get back to me when you have a less stressful , but more glamorous task. Other people seem to get recognized more often, but there is always a price to pay for that attention. For many it would be a blessing but for some it was likened to a curse. It is all in the way we think while we are being pruned.
The expectations of ourselves and others can cause us to become prideful or pitiful. Perception is most important.. God chose each and everyone for His good pleasure, Who am I to say God I think you have me mixed up with someone else with my same name because I am not certain I can carry this out.
And then He says I know full well who you are, who you are becoming and who you shall be, but you must understand that as long as you keep comparing yourself among yourselves , you will not be able to focus on the unique and awesome privilege of being chosen for such a time as this. I am speaking to you clearly and succinctly, instructing you on the types of people I have called you to minister to, have already provided everything spiritual blessing from above. And to top it off I have granted you assurance and the confidence of knowing that it is Me who works in you both to will and to do for my good pleasure.
Until the end of time the spirit of competition will live on. We must decide if we will allow it to taint our views or stifle our progress . The diversity of the Disciples shows us how God uses everyday people to do everlasting things. I pray that you always remember and never forget that although others may have your same name, come from the same geographical location , are in the same household, are applying for the same promotion, attending the same church or even have the same birthday you were created to make a mark that no one else can.
You as a snowflake are authentic , no one else has your fingerprints attached to their hands, nor God`s hand prints attached to your heart strings. Only Believe
Hidden In Him
Pretina J. Lowery
Today I was thinking about the twelve disciples of Jesus. Ordinary in physicality but extraordinary when yielded to the power of God. Upon reading the scripture we find that they too made comparisons among one another. You had here men from different walks of life, economic and educational backgrounds,and varied upbringings. Yet Christchose them because He knew what they were made of and how He would make even the most skilled fishermen... fish for and catch fish that were too susceptible to be eaten up by others.
Lord only knows the conversations they had , but the important thing was to realize that they were all called because of their individuality and not because they were cookie cutter followers. Some had tempers, others jockeyed for positions while yet one was a thief and betrayer, Truth be told we all could white out there names and put ours in their place. We all have been envious, prideful, quick to speak and slow to listen.
One of the things I love about this melting pot for ministry was that they heard the call, answered , dropped everything and followed Christ... did this mean that they were puppets and lost their identity ?, Certainly not... They believed in He who gave the invitation, but also learned through experience , object lessons, lack of faith and disobedience.
Everyone has a part to play in a band, on a team , in a play , at a place of employment as well as in the home. I think we stumble with comparing ourselves when we either do not know what our part is or if when reject it thinking that someone else has gotten a better contract so to peak. Our gifts are given to us by the Holy Spirit as He wills, we can never boast because we are not the creator , but were gifted to use the tool given.
The Jackson Five would not have been the J5 if Mike would have been a solo artist from the start. The other brothers because of their humanity, personality and upbringing could have felt dislike toward their family member only them and God knows how it was to live in their household.
Joseph understood full well what is was like to be chosen for a specific task. We can become covetous, indifferent and even mean to people for things they themselves had no control over. I am sure if you could ask Joseph if he knew that he would have to go through all he encountered he may tell you and God... I`m Good God , I will pass on this assignment ... get back to me when you have a less stressful , but more glamorous task. Other people seem to get recognized more often, but there is always a price to pay for that attention. For many it would be a blessing but for some it was likened to a curse. It is all in the way we think while we are being pruned.
The expectations of ourselves and others can cause us to become prideful or pitiful. Perception is most important.. God chose each and everyone for His good pleasure, Who am I to say God I think you have me mixed up with someone else with my same name because I am not certain I can carry this out.
And then He says I know full well who you are, who you are becoming and who you shall be, but you must understand that as long as you keep comparing yourself among yourselves , you will not be able to focus on the unique and awesome privilege of being chosen for such a time as this. I am speaking to you clearly and succinctly, instructing you on the types of people I have called you to minister to, have already provided everything spiritual blessing from above. And to top it off I have granted you assurance and the confidence of knowing that it is Me who works in you both to will and to do for my good pleasure.
Until the end of time the spirit of competition will live on. We must decide if we will allow it to taint our views or stifle our progress . The diversity of the Disciples shows us how God uses everyday people to do everlasting things. I pray that you always remember and never forget that although others may have your same name, come from the same geographical location , are in the same household, are applying for the same promotion, attending the same church or even have the same birthday you were created to make a mark that no one else can.
You as a snowflake are authentic , no one else has your fingerprints attached to their hands, nor God`s hand prints attached to your heart strings. Only Believe
Hidden In Him
Pretina J. Lowery
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
It`s a Sunshine Day... Or is it ?
Hello everyone first I would like to extend my gratitude to all who are following this blog. I know that it has been some time since my last posting .But in the words of my grandmother ... "speak when spoken to". God is speaking and I am sharing. Today I would like to discuss the topic of forgetting what is behind and moving toward what lies ahead.
Philippians 3:13-14 which states.
Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Anyone who remotely knows me can attest to the fact that my middle name could well be Nostalgia instead of Jean. I take so many roads down memory lane, I may need to pay for those same roads to be repaved. The 80`s were my all time favorite... Pop rock candy, Saturday Morning cartoons, Soul Train, New York winters Big Wheels, Cabbage Patch dolls, jelly sandals, block parties,, Easy Bake Ovens, Army Men, Racing Track sets, water balloon fights via the roof. Oh and we dare not forget some of the games we played almost on a daily basis like hot peas and butter , red rover, steal the old mans bacon, other may I and dodge ball just to name a few.
The very word nostalgia means a return to or longing for something far away or in the past. As I read the scripture, perused through the dictionary and then examined myself I came to find that sometimes those trips can turn into vacations. Many including myself have been stifled by what may have been,...If I would have married so and so, taken that job out of town, stayed home that night, not drank so much or just listened to my elders things just may have turned out differently.
Although I moved to San Diego in 1990, my heart was still unsettled with longings of yester year in Brooklyn. Had I grown ?... physically , mentally and spiritually yes . But concerning the emotional part ... not so much, I would say things like if bread was still 75 cents life would be good, If I did`nt have to pay rent , I could shop more. If I didn`t have to work , I could hang out with my friends who didn`t work, but always seemed to have money and new clothes.
I was stuck in a rut, plagued by fear ; not of failure because I had mastered that, but of success , accountability and the hardest of them all.., the fear of growing up. Letting go and holding on is no more possible than being a Blood and a Crip, Vegan and Carnivore or Democrat and Republican. We must choose
because one will ultimately suffer.
Of course I could have handled things differently, but we all know that God alone has to take over , and as we submit to Him and his purpose even our past can not stop us from walking in our right now. Had it not been for his mercy, for the prayers of righteous and the spirit of resiliency, I would have checked out sometime ago.
I grew up watching the Brady Bunch , so much that I had dreams of grandeur to one day star on the show as an adopted child... don`t judge me .. you wanted crazy stuff when you were a kid :).
One of my favorite episodes was when they were on the talent shown singing Sunshine Day... The lyrics still ring in my head like it was the late 70`s all over again
I thin I`ll go for a walk outside now
The summer suns calling my name
I hear you now
I just can`t stay inside all day
I gotta get out get some of those rays
Everybody`s smiling
Sunshine Day
Everybody`s laughing
Everybody seems so happy today
It`s a Sunshine Day
NOT.. I wished it was that way,.. How could they be so chipper and I was so jacked up ? Well that`s when I began to realize what was reality and what was entertainment, I know you may say duh... it`s television , but truth be told we many if not all of us at one time or another fantasized about a singer, athlete, politician or person of importance to come to our house for dinner. Holding onto fantasies, pipe dreams and most get rich quick schemes are like trying to tell a football team that they can only eat salad at Hometown Buffet... unrealistic and you may get trampled in the process.
My past was filled with lies concerning my worth, beauty and intelligence. Unsuspecting at one time but later just a willing participate due to lack of knowledge and the fear that someone would find out out that I was not as strong as I had allowed others to label me. I suffered with and through depression, eating disorders, sexual promiscuity, over indulging in shopping . I too became critical and judgmental, isolated and even self righteous at times.
It was revealed to me that the reason I love cartoons, coloring books , puzzles, reading books and board games as an adult was due to the fact that even as a child I was forced to grow up faster than my mind or emotions were capable of. I love to learn and am very competitive .. just ask my husband or 15 other Words with Friends compadres. Everyone needs to look at the past and be grateful , but looking and focusing are two different things.
How could this be... a person who possessed a smile that could light a room was yet residing in darkness ?, the one who made others laugh at the drop of a dime , was crying because she was financially struggling.The woman who interceded and believed for the crackhead as well as the church goer... she was now doubting that she was "good or holy enough" for God to answer her very own requests? Please do not misunderstand even through this Jesus sent people to me to bless me with monetary gifts, rides to and from church, a listening ear and words of encouragement. I just could not dig myself out of this hole that I had created. I was so stuck on the former that I would self sabotage my present friendships, relationships and encounters because I was scared that if someone knew half of my past they would not except me for being the rock that I so often portrayed.
So I am instructed to submit to God, resist the Devil and pull myself up by the bootstraps and forge ahead. My body was suffering, my thought patterns were destructive and I suddenly realized that my heart had not been healed, not so much from what people did but because I condemned myself for allowing them. Some things were definitely not my fault, but others I contributed to just because it was comfortable. I sadly found comfort in not confronting issues, comfort in being mediocre ,so much so that yes was never heard because I was used to hearing no , comfort in just taking what others dished out even when I knew it was a lie . I faced life with trepidation , was super spiritual but not balanced in every day issues. I would pray and pray and pray but not move . or would move and pray that it all worked out somehow.
My hearts desire is to be all that God has designed and destined for me. I want to be the best mom to my children and understand that I too am still learning, I really want to be the best wife to my husband but grow and know my role as a spouse, I want to be a good friend and confidant regardless to how others respond to me.. But all these desires must stem from the notion of knowing that I am important whether I never have another child, lost all of my possessions, was excommunicated from church folks, did not get married or ever preached in a pulpit .
So Today I am making a heartfelt decision to no longer allow the past to dictate my life. All of my memories were not bad I am wise enough now to know which events I need to recycle and which ones I need to trash in a receptacle.
I have been blessed so much , I often teases that I have to repent for being jealous of myself. I said that not to be boastful, but to show how you can have the heart, favor , provision and promises of God and still get stuck in your past.
Forgetting ; just like remembering is a choice.Though it may be rough at times it is not impossible. We can hold on to anger, pride or shame with a Kung Fu grip or Beat them down with truths from the Bible like Rock em Sock em robots... The choice is ours.
I would like to leave you with this thought...
One can chose to walk across a bridge backwards
But will inevitably enjoy the view and reach their destination
By placing one foot in front of the other.
Hidden In Him
Pretina J. Lowery
Philippians 3:13-14 which states.
Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Anyone who remotely knows me can attest to the fact that my middle name could well be Nostalgia instead of Jean. I take so many roads down memory lane, I may need to pay for those same roads to be repaved. The 80`s were my all time favorite... Pop rock candy, Saturday Morning cartoons, Soul Train, New York winters Big Wheels, Cabbage Patch dolls, jelly sandals, block parties,, Easy Bake Ovens, Army Men, Racing Track sets, water balloon fights via the roof. Oh and we dare not forget some of the games we played almost on a daily basis like hot peas and butter , red rover, steal the old mans bacon, other may I and dodge ball just to name a few.
The very word nostalgia means a return to or longing for something far away or in the past. As I read the scripture, perused through the dictionary and then examined myself I came to find that sometimes those trips can turn into vacations. Many including myself have been stifled by what may have been,...If I would have married so and so, taken that job out of town, stayed home that night, not drank so much or just listened to my elders things just may have turned out differently.
Although I moved to San Diego in 1990, my heart was still unsettled with longings of yester year in Brooklyn. Had I grown ?... physically , mentally and spiritually yes . But concerning the emotional part ... not so much, I would say things like if bread was still 75 cents life would be good, If I did`nt have to pay rent , I could shop more. If I didn`t have to work , I could hang out with my friends who didn`t work, but always seemed to have money and new clothes.
I was stuck in a rut, plagued by fear ; not of failure because I had mastered that, but of success , accountability and the hardest of them all.., the fear of growing up. Letting go and holding on is no more possible than being a Blood and a Crip, Vegan and Carnivore or Democrat and Republican. We must choose
because one will ultimately suffer.
Of course I could have handled things differently, but we all know that God alone has to take over , and as we submit to Him and his purpose even our past can not stop us from walking in our right now. Had it not been for his mercy, for the prayers of righteous and the spirit of resiliency, I would have checked out sometime ago.
I grew up watching the Brady Bunch , so much that I had dreams of grandeur to one day star on the show as an adopted child... don`t judge me .. you wanted crazy stuff when you were a kid :).
One of my favorite episodes was when they were on the talent shown singing Sunshine Day... The lyrics still ring in my head like it was the late 70`s all over again
I thin I`ll go for a walk outside now
The summer suns calling my name
I hear you now
I just can`t stay inside all day
I gotta get out get some of those rays
Everybody`s smiling
Sunshine Day
Everybody`s laughing
Everybody seems so happy today
It`s a Sunshine Day
NOT.. I wished it was that way,.. How could they be so chipper and I was so jacked up ? Well that`s when I began to realize what was reality and what was entertainment, I know you may say duh... it`s television , but truth be told we many if not all of us at one time or another fantasized about a singer, athlete, politician or person of importance to come to our house for dinner. Holding onto fantasies, pipe dreams and most get rich quick schemes are like trying to tell a football team that they can only eat salad at Hometown Buffet... unrealistic and you may get trampled in the process.
My past was filled with lies concerning my worth, beauty and intelligence. Unsuspecting at one time but later just a willing participate due to lack of knowledge and the fear that someone would find out out that I was not as strong as I had allowed others to label me. I suffered with and through depression, eating disorders, sexual promiscuity, over indulging in shopping . I too became critical and judgmental, isolated and even self righteous at times.
It was revealed to me that the reason I love cartoons, coloring books , puzzles, reading books and board games as an adult was due to the fact that even as a child I was forced to grow up faster than my mind or emotions were capable of. I love to learn and am very competitive .. just ask my husband or 15 other Words with Friends compadres. Everyone needs to look at the past and be grateful , but looking and focusing are two different things.
How could this be... a person who possessed a smile that could light a room was yet residing in darkness ?, the one who made others laugh at the drop of a dime , was crying because she was financially struggling.The woman who interceded and believed for the crackhead as well as the church goer... she was now doubting that she was "good or holy enough" for God to answer her very own requests? Please do not misunderstand even through this Jesus sent people to me to bless me with monetary gifts, rides to and from church, a listening ear and words of encouragement. I just could not dig myself out of this hole that I had created. I was so stuck on the former that I would self sabotage my present friendships, relationships and encounters because I was scared that if someone knew half of my past they would not except me for being the rock that I so often portrayed.
So I am instructed to submit to God, resist the Devil and pull myself up by the bootstraps and forge ahead. My body was suffering, my thought patterns were destructive and I suddenly realized that my heart had not been healed, not so much from what people did but because I condemned myself for allowing them. Some things were definitely not my fault, but others I contributed to just because it was comfortable. I sadly found comfort in not confronting issues, comfort in being mediocre ,so much so that yes was never heard because I was used to hearing no , comfort in just taking what others dished out even when I knew it was a lie . I faced life with trepidation , was super spiritual but not balanced in every day issues. I would pray and pray and pray but not move . or would move and pray that it all worked out somehow.
My hearts desire is to be all that God has designed and destined for me. I want to be the best mom to my children and understand that I too am still learning, I really want to be the best wife to my husband but grow and know my role as a spouse, I want to be a good friend and confidant regardless to how others respond to me.. But all these desires must stem from the notion of knowing that I am important whether I never have another child, lost all of my possessions, was excommunicated from church folks, did not get married or ever preached in a pulpit .
So Today I am making a heartfelt decision to no longer allow the past to dictate my life. All of my memories were not bad I am wise enough now to know which events I need to recycle and which ones I need to trash in a receptacle.
I have been blessed so much , I often teases that I have to repent for being jealous of myself. I said that not to be boastful, but to show how you can have the heart, favor , provision and promises of God and still get stuck in your past.
Forgetting ; just like remembering is a choice.Though it may be rough at times it is not impossible. We can hold on to anger, pride or shame with a Kung Fu grip or Beat them down with truths from the Bible like Rock em Sock em robots... The choice is ours.
I would like to leave you with this thought...
One can chose to walk across a bridge backwards
But will inevitably enjoy the view and reach their destination
By placing one foot in front of the other.
Hidden In Him
Pretina J. Lowery
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)