When your will is on the wheel

I am so excited today , there are times when I am beckoned to read the word of God and I become so consumed that I do not want to put it down. Today was one of those days. I began to examine myself and take inventory. Was I being a good steward of my time , talents and abilities or had I somehow convinced myself that I was owner of my life, how it panned out and what the finished product would be ?.

In order for me to evaluate my today , I had to first look at my past, what I loved doing, what made me the most happiest and how I would get myself out of a rut . I began to explore all of the occupations I desire growing up... whew that was a mini grocery list . I realized that I desired to be a teacher, lawyer, correction officer, pharmacist, dental technician, bartender , nurse, maid , waitress, run my own group home or half way house and the one who I knew for sure that would make me millions of dollars of course a rapper. And this was before I was 25 years old.

The underlying thread in all of these quests was the desire to help others who had fell on hard times ; due to poor decision making, lack of knowledge, disobedience or even because of another persons actions. a teacher because I loved learning , a lawyer well because I was pretty convincing and sadly must admit that I was an expert at arguing ,a dental tech so I could make gold teeth...lol.., a bartender to listen to other peoples problems and offer suggestions, a maid, waitress , group home assistant to serve and I`m from Brooklyn New York so that explains the rapper deal.

I soon found out that although these things had something in common it was because God put that desire there to serve people , not me. I loved rap because of the words and the stories they told not so much for the music. And sense I am being transparent there was a part of me that would love to have a crowd of people gathering just to hear the words that came out of my mouth. But God... He can take even the deceitful desires and purify them for His purpose. I believe that he is accomplishing in my life what he set forth before the foundations of the world.

One of the most often quoted scriptures next to John 3:16 has to be ( Luke 22:42) that states... saying Father, If it is your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will , but Yours be done.
The word will  means to have a desire and to deliberately choose to follow a course of action... good, bad or indifferent.

Whitney Houston... I will always love you
Chris Tomlin ... I will Follow
Gloria Gaynor... I will survive

Songs that most know the words to but fewer actually live out.One chose to always love someone even if thins did not turn out as expected, another declared that the one they were following was trustworthy enough to lead them to dine destiny and the other proclaimed that I have made a choice to make it regardless of how my heart feels, what my circumstances dictate or how another person responds or rejects me.

I often think of people in scripture who were called outside of their comfort zones to speak to others whom they secretly decided that they were not good enough for God`s grace. Now I know our sanctified minds would say oh no everyone deserves the gift of forgiveness, but truth be told most of us do not evangelize, pray fervently or invest in others because we feel they have not arrived at a place to be accepted in. If we are truthful the only contribution we bring to the salvation plan of God is a load of sin and that constitutes everyone free access.

Yes I know that peoples eyes have been blinded by the enemy and so were mine, but somebody prayed for me and believed God even when my actions and speech were contrary. No everyone will not be saved and not due to God sending them to hell but because they chose to reject his sons sacrifice. In the end it is not my task to figure out what is in the heart of man for time and verbiage will reveal that. But my joy comes from knowing that God has selected me to be a part of his plan of reconciliation.

Jonah heard the instruction of God, not only ran from the people but tried to hide from God, now before we bring down the holy hammer on the prophet we too must look at ourselves, would we be readily willing to drop the familiarity of home, prosperity of our surroundings and set sail for a place where no one knows your name, you are not Mrs. popular, tell folks what God is saying without fear of rejection, ridicule or possible death ?

Either way he tried to go another route, I do not find it coincidental that there was a ship available to him to go on his merry own way... again we have been granted free will and he chose his own course. Great thing about God... His word stands even when we fall. With a bit of rerouting, God allows him to be thrown overboard , but not drowned... he was swallowed, but not eaten by a fish , came to his senses , cried out to God , repented and was catapulted right to the place where he was instructed at first.

Funny how we say we want to be used by God, but as soon as the script is not according to our design we want to bow out,  try and convince God that someone else would be a better candidate or fail miserably at trying to run and hide from He who sees all.

What if God is saying your season for you being frustrated with church folks is over and now I want you to minister to the lost, what if he is saying.. the boss you try and ignore is your Nineveh, Your landlord is your Nineveh, your estranged drug addict family member, next door neighbor with the grip of kids, the lady who does your mani/ pedi or your beautician.... whoever or wherever our Nineveh may cost us our place of comfort today , but our rejection of the assignment can cost someone their salvation for eternity sake

Father first off we thank you for calling us out of darkness into your marvelous light, we thank you for the prayers of the righteous for their obedience, the intercession of Christ as our Mediator and the groans of the Holy Spirit which we can not fathom. For without your divine will and the participation of others we too would be doomed to eternal separation from You. Teach us and instruct us on who or where our Nineveh lays, how we can move forward and please prepare the hearts of those you are sending us to .
 We fully understand that one act of obedience can save a nation of people. It is in your word..  and we have seen it in our own lives... now may we agree with you and tell the dying world of our Savior who lives.
Cast out all fear of rejection, for you are God enough to handle what we cannot. May we not be so concerned about how we will look or sound , but that we listen when you are speaking.
Thank you for the equipment, instruction manual and the same power that raised Jesus Christ from the dead that dwells within us. We thank you in advance for all who will come to love, know and follow you as Savior and Lord .


Hidden In Him
Pretina J. Lowery